How To Build Trust & Integrity With A Woman In A Relationship

salsa male dancer holding his partnerTrust: (trust) assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

  • dependence on something future or contingent : hope
  • something committed into the care of another

Integrity: (in-teg-ri-tee/) / adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

  • incorruptibility
  • the quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness

The dictionary claims “trust” and “integrity” to have various meanings, all of which reflect the ideal of putting one’s hope or beliefs into another person or thing, one which is honest and sound.

What does that mean in a relationship? EVERYTHING!  Men need this and women crave it. To know or trust that the person you’re with is honest about who he says he is and what he says he does and that these are facts that do not change with the weather or with whatever company he keeps…that allows a relationship to flourish and grow into a nurturing, mature and rewarding union.

Developing trust with a woman you’re dating is an ongoing thing that starts off slowly but pays back with huge dividends. There is nothing better than peace of mind when it comes to your significant other. There are so many stresses in the world today; why would you want to doubt your partner’s motives or actions? Why would you not want to offer the same to your woman and keep her fears of completely trusting a man at bay?

Maybe these are old-fashioned traits. Wrong! Having integrity and being trustworthy is never out of fashion! It’s never wrong to present yourself honestly and to have your word mean something. Many men don’t realize that this is probably the number one turn-on for smart, modern women. Trust is something that is never negotiable. It is MANDATORY. You can fake it for a while, but eventually, she will come to her senses and move on when she tires of your excuses, broken promises and lies.

So, how do you go about creating an atmosphere in your new relationship with the Woman of your Dreams that equates security for her?  You develop it every day, with your follow-through and your comments.

It’s easy to develop trust by doing what you said you would do!  A little thing like a promised phone call or a night out, or even the leaky faucet you said you’d take a look at, are all opportunities for you to build trust with your woman. By following through with things you’ve proposed to do, your actions show her that you are a man of your word. This starts to prove to her that when you say you’re going to do something, you mean it.

So, when you say you’re at the office, it’s exactly that–you’re AT THE OFFICE. Not at your bro’s house having a few beers, or catching the last part of a game at the local watering hole. These common white lies start to cast doubt on your integrity as a person. A woman will start to doubt what else you could potentially be lying to her about, or what else you’ve been trying to cover up.

This can start the downhill spiral into the “I don’t believe a word he says” relationship that many couples find themselves in. It’s a horrible place to be!  Who wants to constantly defend his actions because his partner feels there’s always more to the story?  It’s exhausting for both of you and detrimental to the relationship as a whole. And yet it can be so easy to avoid by simply being upfront with her from the start. Don’t give her ammunition to attack you by telling her un-truths or flat-out lies. Once she starts to doubt that she can trust what you say, it’s a guaranteed disaster and could definitely lead to your break-up. If she’s the Woman of your Dreams, don’t you want her to “get” you? Isn’t that real love? To have someone in your life that you don’t need to lie to, and more importantly, don’t want to?

Now, there are some situations that you may find you need to create a fictional situation to prevent her from knowing something that she doesn’t need to know quite yet. Perhaps you’re planning a surprise party, or you’re shopping for her birthday gift. I’m not saying to tell her. I’m saying, use common sense.  If it’s a surprise, of course you’ll need to be creative about what you say you’re doing, but if it’s a Friday night and you’ve made plans to hang with the boys but don’t want to upset her so instead tell her you’re not feeling well, it’s only your fault when she shows up at your place with chicken soup, finds you’re not there and throws the hot mess at your door!

You can only blame yourself for her mounting doubts when you consistently act in an un-trustworthy manner. This kind of behavior chips away at your integrity in your partner’s eyes, and integrity is a hard thing to repair once it’s tarnished.

Repair takes lots of time, time and more time. When the heart’s been hurt by a developed lack of trust, it can take a lifetime to get over these breaches. Trust, character and  integrity are more than lofty words. They are seeds that when planted in a relationship, grow into the sturdy roots required to face what storms the world will throw at you as a couple.

Don’t take trust or your integrity lightly. It’s the most sacred thing you can offer a woman and without it, all of your relationships will suffer.

Building trust with the woman of your dreams will give you years of fun-filled, truthful communication. It will allow her to give of herself without holding back. She will more than appreciate that she is with a Quality Man, one that she can trust and have faith and hope in what you say and what your future together could be like.

Remember, you can prove you have great integrity on a daily basis by the things you do or don’t do. It’s simple, really. Develop your conscience and keep it in check by considering your daily actions.



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